At the end of the day, imagine a coat rack just outside your front door. Before stepping into your home and greeting your family, hang all the mistakes, anger, and absurdities that attached themselves to your shoulders and forget them right away. Tomorrow is a new day and you want to begin it with a clean slate which is free of resentment. This is the first action needed in order to begin the process of self-forgiveness. You must forgive yourself first.
Forgiveness of the past is a vital activity of the present and critical to the success of your future. You might wonder how you can ever manage successfully to do that. However, it is possible, perhaps even essential, to engage in forgiveness as a primarily selfish act–for instance, forgiving yourself because you desperately need to become free from the acids of resentment that will otherwise burn into your soul is totally selfish, but necessary.
More importantly, resentment and bitterness will kill your creativity as quickly as a fire doused in water. In order for the basic qualities of forgiveness to take hold within, you need to get rid of the bad habit of blaming yourself for your failures. You can do this by learning how to honestly admit your errors, inadequacies and resentments, first to yourself then before the universe.This is the best way to accomplish a changed behavior.
Just as rudeness is a learned behavior, so is forgiveness. We learn both traits from a very young age. However, the process of forgiveness can empower you to deny permission to your old habits that keep pulling you down. Also this act empowers you to not keep repeating day-after-day tiresome and depressing patterns of personal failure and resentment.
Here is a simple process you can use to begin practicing self-forgiveness. Begin each day with a clean slate. By that I mean clear your mind and surround yourself with some quite time. Yesterday is history and history is for school books and learning.
Allow yourself five or ten minutes at some point in the day. It doesn’t matter if the time you choose is morning, noon or night. Go into a room or space and close the door if you can. Sit quietly and listen to your breathing. Slowly breath in through your nose and notice the expansion of your stomach. Purse your lips and slowly breath out through your mouth.
This is the point where you will begin to release yourself from your old habits and depressing patterns of personal failure. Let each day of your life become an upward spiral. It is a good idea to choose a mantra that will represent positive images in your mind. A mantra is similar to an affirmation. For example:
“I am confident. I am successful. I am forgiving.”